The idea of dating at your age can be funny, daunting and frightening. Even as a young person, it isn’t always easy to date not to talk of someone who is now an elder and doesn’t have much zeal about starting over. Well the holy book told us that it is better to be two than one and thankfully, there wasn’t a specified age allowable for loneliness.
Dating in Your 50s
One thing that will surprise you is there are many men and women your age looking for companionship. You deprive yourself and them the opportunity to be happy the more you delay reaching out. I sincerely understand that at this point, you are confused on how to start or where to begin. This article is especially for you. Just have it in mind that your age is not a barrier to starting and maintaining a successful relationship and possible marriage.
Are you worried on how to start dating now that you are over 50? Here are a few pointers on how to start dating.
• Accept that you need a companion. I always put emphasis on acceptance because it begets the decision to take action. Don’t lie to yourself about how lonely you truly feel. You may try to justify it or give reasons, but you must stop now and leave your comfort zone for a new world of possibilities with a partner.
• Spread the news. Yes you need the help of your friends and family because your circle of friends and social interactions has reduced. You need recommendations for suitable and available potential matches to start from. Some of them may be so excited about seeing you with a companion that they will go all out to connect you to the right people.
• Socialize more. Social events and ceremonies bring people together. Engage in activities, events and group where you can meet lots of people, and as you interact, you may be surprised that you will find your match amongst them. Don’t lock yourself indoors and expect a mail-order bride. Go out there, mingle and hook up with someone.
• Visit online dating sites. I have already written about online sites and apps for dating. Even though some accept only the younger generation, there are still some dating sites for seniors. There are many testimonies about people above 50 years who met their perfect matches on sites like Match.com, eHarmony.com, etc. All you need to do is to be honest while writing your profile and also use a picture that shows you clearly at your present age. No lying, please.
• Call your old friend. There must be someone you dated but something separated you guys—either distance or unforeseen circumstances. You may have wished to settle down with them but something prevented it. Now is the time to look them up. You can use the web or go to your school alumni offices or yearbooks. You might be surprised that the love didn’t die but rather was suppressed in order to survive.
• Take one step at a time. If you have reconnected with your old flame or met a new prospect, try as much as possible to go with the flow. Don’t take things too seriously. Start with a light mood and watch your relationship blossom into something beautiful. Don’t go to your first date with the intention of proposing marriage the next day. I know age is no longer on your side, but still, take your time and enjoy each other’s company first.
• Show your sincere interest. At this age, what you need is companionship more than sex. Your libido is not controlling you anymore like when you were young. Show real interest in getting to know each other. Ask questions that will make them talk to you sincerely about their fears, needs and experience. This will keep them coming back if you actually listened.
• Mention your kids and avoid talking about your ex. If you have kids, mention that you do but don’t take all the time talking about them; it will seem as if you need a companion for them instead of for yourself. Avoid talking about your ex at all because it can really be a deal breaker. Believe me, nobody wants to be compared at all, and such topics can bore your partner to death.
These are just a few pointers. Start from here and you will gradually get it right.