How do you know when you are ready to start dating after divorce? The reality is that only one person can really answer that question. It’s true – only you can determine if you are ready to get back out there or not. When a marriage ends, it’s normal to experience a range of emotions from relief to sadness, to joy to uncertainty. For some, it may take a while before they are ready to let another person into their lives. For others, it may take virtually no time at all.
Everyone goes through the various stages of emotion associated with divorce at their own pace. It takes some self-reflection to determine if you are ready to let someone else into your life. Following are some things to think about to help you figure it out.
Are You Ready To Start Dating After Divorce?
You Know Who You Are
With divorce, often comes a sense of loss. Whether the divorce was amicable or messy, you were still part of a partnership that is now over. Although this can be scary and unsettling, with the end of such partnerships can also come a sense of self-renewal. An opportunity to reclaim who you are and to think about what you want out of life. Do you know what this is? Do you have a strong sense of who you are and what makes you tick? If you answered yes, then this is a good sign. It may mean that you are ready to start dating after divorce. The key is to find someone who enhances the independent life that you now have on your own.
The Past is in the Past
If you’ve taken the steps to divorce a spouse, then there was good reason why that relationship needed to end. It is inevitable that divorce will change you. All relationships have an effect on us, especially one in which you have taken the vow of marriage. With each relationship, there is something to be learned, and with that, an opportunity for growth. Have you reached a point in which you can accept your past relationship for what it was and move on? Do you harbor any resentment or emotions that are preventing you from doing so? Think carefully about these questions. They will help guide your decision when to seek out another relationship or give yourself more time to heal.
You Are in it for the Right Reasons
When thinking about whether you are ready to start dating after divorce, dig deep into the reasons why. Are you feeling lonely or comfortable in your new singledom? Do you feel uneasy and insecure with your newfound independence or are you reveling in this new chapter in life? Do you feel pressure to couple up because all of your friends are in relationships and you feel left out? Really think about your motivation for wanting to find someone else to share your life with. It’s natural to want companionship and find comfort in having someone to share your life with. It’s just as important however to be sure you are in it for the right reasons.
You Are Emotionally Available
Divorce can be one of the most challenging times in your life. You might find it easier to shut down, setting your emotions aside instead of dealing with them. If you find yourself doing this, you are likely not ready to bring someone else into your life quite yet. By refusing to face these feelings, you are ultimately hurting yourself. It also wouldn’t be fair to your future partner if you weren’t truly open and available on an emotional level. The best thing you can do for yourself in this case is to continue to soul search. Seek the assistance of a therapist if need be and face those emotions head-on. Doing so will relieve your emotional baggage, preparing you for the possibility of a new love.